help your clients overcome fear of success

It has always been a goal of coaches, therapists and change agents to help their clients be successful. But what if the fear of success is holding them back? This article will look at the reasons fear of success becomes an issue and what you can do to help them overcome it.

The term 'fear of success' relates to a person’s ability to restrain themselves from achieving their deepest desires. When we explore the reasons for this behavioural pattern we realise there are four main areas for consideration. These are: 1 - A reality that is not in line with their true purpose. 2 - An unreal expectation of how they can achieve success. 3 - A presupposition that success is only temporary. 4 – An ability to tell themselves they don’t deserve success. Let’s look at each in turn and discover how to unlock the secrets to overcoming the fear of success.

Manifesting magically
In ‘time’ we feel as though we are creating a rod for our own back if we work towards a goal we want to achieve. But what if making success easy was as simple as A, B, C? How can we help Our clients realise the true meaning of success? ​

Initially we see that our clients come to us for guidance on how to overcome all manner of issues and complaints. But what we need to understand is that they are all asking for help to be successful  in something they are trying to achieve. With the help of a therapist, they feel that they can be guided through the issues being presented to achieve some state of satisfaction, peace or clarity.

Most people have ideas about what they don’t want and this just enables a sense of the need to ‘move away’. However, when being made aware of how success can replace the fear of failure, clients often respond with a similar or more pronounced fear response. (1) So in terms of supporting their development to achieve success we need to understand what drives them towards a successful outcome.

​A successful outcome depends on the situation or conditions under which they are to be achieved. Let’s say you have a client who wants to achieve success in the area of business. To be able to make the changes in the direction of moving forward we need to be able to help them see how to get there under their own steam. So when it comes to reversing the psychology of the fear of success to one of manifesting desired outcomes we see that using elements of awareness can support their application of the principles that lead to success. The principles of success are such that they encompass all that need to be transitioned in the form of knowing what to do next.

Preparing for lift off
In each person’s experience there is a perception that supports the idea of survival. Should there be an interruption in this perceived state of being, trauma begins to enlist its support in the form of fear anxiety and stress. I say support because the main job of fear is to protect us from unnecessary harm or even death. How is it how is this related to a fear of success? 
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By way of analysing the steps needed to be taken towards success we can see that moving forward can seem like a dangerous path to take. Fear of success, then, becomes a way to avoid failure and ultimately death. So how do we prepare our clients to take the next step?

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The first situation to be realised is that of where they are now in relation to where they need to be. What is it they are experiencing now that is stopping them from moving forward. How can you support them in understanding the journey is about self discovery and how they can learn to develop resources along the way? 

What if you could create a map of where they need to be in relation to where they are now? How would these elements of awareness support your client in moving towards success?

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A map of success
To discern between success and failure we have to understand the journey towards one and away from another. The journey towards success is that of knowing what impact each step along the way will have. And therefore designing the experience so that making change a doable action will be the cornerstone from which to create a map of success. In deciding how to move our clients forward we know that we have access to a whole new world of experience when it comes to listening for opportunities to support a change in our clients focus.

​Hence, aligning our clients deeper belief systems with the most important values will create a situation where they are motivated to take action towards a successful outcome. We find that mapping a clients beliefs about the situation or challenge will give us the road-map we need to challenge beliefs that do not support the ultimate desire to experience a sense of fulfilment, joy and happiness.

Mapping out the process
In order to map out the process for success we need to understand how to structure our session so that it fits with our client’s expectations. The way to do this is to ensure that you have enough information to make them understand how to move them forward.

What this means is that you create a structure according to what is, in their mind, real for them. What do we mean by ‘real for them’? We mean that when they say something or show you something about what they are feeling, to take that as their reality in that moment.

​From there you can assess what needs to happen next. What tools do you have in your repertoire that will support them moving forward? How will you know when have changed? These things need to be mapped out so that you can assess their progress going forward. The tools of your trade are what’s going to help you, help them get there.

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Helping your clients through the process
The list of tools you have should be clear in your mind as to what’s going to be useful for that session. Whether it be NLP, Coaching, EFT or some other therapy, you need to be clear on which of these tools will make the most impact in the right direction. So using those tools will be the cornerstone of how you plan your session. The recordings of which you can utilise for later listening should you decide to do so. 

In terms of supporting a client through the process, you now have a way to monitor success while, at the same time, have a way to know where you are in the process. This is important because the clearer you are about where you want the client to end up, the clearer you are to knowing how well you are progressing them through. ​​

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In conclusion, then, we have a client who is able to move through the fear of success based on the ideas that get presented before, during and between sessions. When you know how to create a situation where the client feels safe to express their true feelings you can really move them deeper and faster towards eliminating the process that causes them to fear success in the first place.

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To find out more about how to help your clients  be successful, Visit www.virtualworldcoachingacademy.com to enrol in live 3-D virtual world training workshops or purchase the replays.

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References
1. Chandler S, Article: Coaching Coaches. The Healing Pool Magazine, Coaching Edition Due out Summer 2020, ​​​